The Good Dirt

thanks- and stressgiving

er.

i'm surrounded entirely by mountains of laundry at the moment. i'm also quite aware that i'm way behind on where i want to be in terms of this latest book that i'm working on. i'm dreading the thought of cleaning the spare room, and more than a little stressed at the thought of four days on the road with my dad. we don't talk much, and there's bound to be a lot of questions about what i'm doing for a living and how "things" are going.

all of this is very nebulous--suffice it to say that, although there are a ton of good things going on, none of them would interest my parents beyond the cursory freak-out and anger over "wasted" time and a "wasted" life. i have no idea what i'm going to talk to my dad about over four days. everything is a potential land mine. i ought to be fair, though, and give him the benefit of the doubt. i know there are things that i'm doing that would interest him, but the yardstick by which he measures life isn't nearly broad enough for me.

shelterbox could be a safe topic--i don't know. jim will be a safe topic. mom won't be; neither will bor; neither will friends in general. we'll see. i need to give him more of a chance.
this is the point at which, in movies or books, people say to themselves or each other, "how did we get here?" there's a wry twist of the mouth accompanying, meant to suggest bemusement, but i don't need to go anywhere near there: i know exactly how we got here.

the past few weeks have been a whirlwind. i've been very busy, although i'm not sure i can say with what, exactly. i have been feeling like it's time to get the lead out, and stop screwing around. i know for a fact that i'm delaying the completion of this newest manuscript because i know it will lead to gruntwork: querying, mailing, e-mailing, keeping track of things--and, perhaps even worse, it will require that i turn my attention, once again, to the ever-present PORTFOLIO. i need to have a conversation with lara about her commentary on the MS, although i'm pretty sure i know which direction the next revision and writing of the ending will ahve to take.

today there is a lot of packing to be had. but not until i've gone and written a few more words, at least.

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100 things

bold the ones you've done. i poached this from max, so in the spirit of memes, i'll follow her directions to pick something i haven't done and replace it with something i have. (i'll put an asterisk next to that one.)

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
*10. Physically hurt someone enough to  make 'em cry
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables (does basil count?)
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when you're not ill
24. Built a snow fort (I don't think anything I've ever built in the snow counts as a fort)
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon (December 6th, hopefully!)
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo's David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant (does a deli count?)
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie (student film)
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi concentration camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone's life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a lawsuit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day

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freaking out

...gah!
just had an e-mail from one of my ShelterBox guys. he says that the 9-day UK training is our assessment weekend in Florida "on steroids," and that he lost 10 pounds over the 9 days.
among his other gems: "you can't possibly train enough," and "your gear is the key." also, only 9 of the 12 being assessed made it.
shite.
am i tough enough for this? quaking in my bedroom slippers. perhaps the completion of my 2-mile recovery run will help.
NOT of help: having my evening's plans cancel on me, for reasons i'm not entirely sure i like, and reasons that i think may be of my doing any way.
sigh.

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what's on my mind

It's already 8:15, just 45 minutes before I have to get to the bookstore, and I haven't done half of what I set out to do today.
Part of that is that it took me 20 minutes to rouse myself from bed this morning, and another 15 to get the coffee on--I still feel like I need another cup. I woke up to a happy Sheryl Crow song, tried to wipe away the cobwebs of a somewhat disturbing but very interesting dream, stretched my legs, and realized with some fascination that there was no real soreness. Guess those mid-week runs are actually quite useful that way. Lesson learned, L&J.

Yesterday's 20-miler was quite pleasant, after the initial bumpiness. It's always hard to get going on a run when you know you have a long way to go. But I opted for an audiobook as distraction this time, a good Dick Francis mystery novel--my books of choice for airports, when I'm in need of a mid-week pickup, or almost any other time when I need some good spare language and a thoroughly likable main character--and was pleasantly surprised when the audio version of a quickly-moving mystery served just as well as its on-page version, keeping me distracted and happy for the 3:38 I was out. (For the record, I find the recent partnership between Francis and his son, Felix, to result in dismaying books. Gone is the trademark voice and one-page wrap, in their places are lame jokes and too many words. I'll be very, very unhappy the day that Dick Francis passes away and turns the franchise over entirely to Felix.)

I'm ok with my time, too--if I can manage an 11-minute mile for the marathon, I'll be happy enough. There were quite a few stops during this run, fiddling with things like gu packets and the Fuel Belt I borrowed from Jim. I can't discount those things during the actual marathon, but it's clear that I've got to practise more with these things in order to get them down pat. I believe I'll probably go with Clif Shots for the race--the leash that keeps the tab attached to the packet is very useful in that I can open the thing with impunity and not worry about littering.

We went to see Quantum of of Solace Saturday, as I've previously mentioned. It was a very nice evening--we had a quick meal at Potbelly's and were smug to see that getting to the movie 40 minutes ahead of time meant great seats. The film's worth a look-see. You can tell that the whole genre's been highly influenced by the Jason Bourne series. Also, whoever did the titles for this movie needs to be fired: when I go to a blockbuster movie, i don't go to ooh and ah over the location titles, OK? Get them off the screen and focus instead on creating a smart opening titles a la Charade, or any Pixar movie, or the last Casino Royale.
I found the rest of the movie, visually, quite good. Some of the camera use could only be described as inventive. The movie's not as good as Casino Royale, although I found a Bond who wasn't intent on bedding his leading lady to be quite refreshing.

Er. What else, before I bolt? Oh, yes: a writer friend of mine passed this tool on to me: You plug in any text, even novel-length, or the URL of any site that has an RSS feed, and it spits out a visual representation of the words that are used the most.
Aside from the fact that it's showing me which modifiers I use far too often, it's also very useful in showing me what I--or my main character--see as most important in the current story arc. I'm about half-way through this novel, I think, which doesn't yet have a title, but it's clear that the guy Marty sleeps with, Chris, and her brother Ken are tops on her mind at the moment. Of less import are her relationship with her mother and her boss, but I expect that may change in the next few chapters.
Here's the current wordle. Now, off to "work."

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beautiful people being sad

ages ago, i told myself that i was going to stop watching sad movies. i was on the couch, feeling sick, and Carlito's Way came on. i'd never seen it before, so i thought it might be a good thing to watch it, much in the same way that i like to watch Hitchcock movies and Day/Hudson movies.
what a mistake. things do not go well for Carlito.
i cried. a lot. and felt so awful at the end of it that i vowed only to watch happy movies from then on in. i've done a pretty good job since then, but last night jim and i watched the latest incarnation of Casino Royale to prep ourselves for tonight's viewing of Quantum of Solace. it's gorgeously filmed and really, really well acted. the thing made me really really sad, which just threw into sharp focus the exact reason i don't like sad movies:
i hate seeing beautiful people suffer.
i know, i know, it sounds ridiculous. and it is. this might have everything to do with the time of the month (being a girl sucks about twelve times a year) and nothing to do with the fact that watching someone you think you might actually be able to get to know and like lose everything in twenty minutes. i don't know. i had horrible dreams about every pretty person i know suffering, dreams of general malaise and post-apocalytic existences where love meant nothing and no one could be depended on.
with that said, i'm not looking forward to Quantum of Solace. i am, however, looking forward to seeing my pal Dan.
i'm not going to say anything about the fact that Daniel Craig is likely the most delicious male specimen to cross the celluloid radar screen in quite some time. well, maybe i'll say just a little bit. heh.

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good times

I had a terrifically rotten evening. It's not something I'll never recover from, or whatever, but this helped greatly:
www.mymomisafob.com
www.mydadisafob.com

i just about died laughing reading these things. the really funny part is, this is exactly the stuff i get from my parents. daily.

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things on my mind right now

1. my mouse pad is no longer grippy on the bottom. this makes for very inefficient mousing.
2. where are my immunization records? will i have to get stuck all over again? that's expensive!!
3. what am i going to write about for the november and december book reviews? argh!
4. i have to go to the library today.
5. i wonder who called me this morning at 8-something, while i was elbow-deep in last night's dinner dishes?
6. i wonder if today will be a good time to call SmartW00l about the ShelterBox thing.
7. I have to send those things to P. that will help to clear off my desk, by one item.
8. ooh. dinner with david and wai-sinn on friday. that ought to be fun. uh oh, did i double-book myself? oh, phew. no.
9. tomorrow i spend three hours writing with tabitha. it's going to be three hours of my nicaraguan coffee, some random scones i want to bake today, and maybe even some popcorn. after all, at noon, when we're going to stop, we'll peckish for some sort of savory munching, i'd imagine.
10. oo! meeting caroline for drinks this evening!
11. wait, am i even going to have time bake scones today?
12. you know what i'd really like to make, is some matzo balls. for soup, you know.
13. speaking of which, look at these disgusting things. The Apple comes up with the most curious findings.
14. why is my coffee cold already?
15. now that i think of it, my coffee seems to be getting cold a lot faster.
16. i wonder if it's because of my drafty window up here. i dread the thought that i might have to get one of those ugly window film thingys. they're so ugly.
17. what i really want is one of those stuffed worms.
18. hey! it was really nice of REI to send me that gift certificate after i called to complain about the lousy service i got there!
19. now, if only their consumer outreach girl would get back to me about scheduling a Leave No Trace  presentation. they want to do one in JANUARY! i want to do one this weekend!
20. and speaking of which, what ever happened to that other woman, the one who is the Illnois coordinator for Leave No Trace? the one who was all gung-ho?
21. i guess it doesn't really matter. if i have to move, i'll have to start all over again anyway.
22. you know, i also don't know where that guide to landmines is that i ordered from amazon. if that doesn't come soon i'll be stuck without a guide to landmines, and we all know how awful that would be. i'd like to have it before i leave so i can read it very. very. carefully before i leave for CA with my dad.
23. i also need to schedule a 2, 3 hour meeting with some girls from the bookstore before i go. i need to talk over the website with them.
24. and shite, where's that copy of dreamweaver i was promised? blargh!!!

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birthday photos

there was some other stuff that i was going to write about, but i'd better throw these up on the web before i get backlogged.
man, the stuff that goes flying out of my head: on my list is a few words about ShelterBox! by the time i get around to it, i will likely have already gone and come back from my field training weekend!!
oh. the first photo is of the neti pot andre made me get. not for nuttin', but it sure is weird to drain a bunch of water into your sinuses and watch it go dribbling out your other nostril. [all together, now: ewwwwww.] and the second shot is the obligatory sprocket shot!

3. jim and dan at carnivale, where we had jim's birthday.
4. kim came all the way out from arlington!!! it was nice to see her!
5. alexe and the quinoa dish she got..
6. audrey tries the fishbowl money shot and misses.
7. i get angry and go after her with a steak knife. [actually, this just turned out that way. i have no idea what happened her. i think i was just marveling over the size of the knife!]
8. this is a nice photo! dan, jim, kim.
9. what a nice GROUP photo!!
10. our nice desserts.
11. jim ate a lot of fried dough and drank a lot. this is what happened. i love this photo.
12. and audrey...well, audrey also drank a lot. but remember when i said she was really talented? yeah, well, she also does these incredible handmade ornaments! on sale at your local wal-mart now, in the folk-art section.

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a birthday and how not to train for a marathon

...happy birthday, jim!!
we had a lovely lovely evening out with friends last night for jim's birthday. photos of that later, when i'm not scrambling to get to the bookstore.
for now, the odd bits:
a. running 18 miles when you've only been putting in runs once a week is a little bit like starting your drinking career with a bender. jim says, "i'm glad this happened to you. at least now you'll understand how you'll feel after a marathon if you don't train more." i say: bad dogs never learn.
b. i had to buy sprocket these so he won't scratch up my mother's floors when we go to stay there.
c. i am planning my roadtrip with my dad. four days in a car; three nights in a hotel room with the world's most ... dedicated snorer. i am planning on seeing the Danish Windmill, the Platte River Archway, the birthplace of John Wayne, and other assorted brown-sign stops that jim would never let me stop at. on the way back there might be some more of that. but i will be with jim then, and i hope it's not too much torture for him.
d. i am really struggling with this concept that, if jim gets a new job between now and january, i might be coming home to very little time to say goodbye to the friends i've made here. this is a terrible prospect and one that fills me with absolute dread. everything is changing AGAIN, although some things will remain constant: i'm still going to england in february, and we're still doing IM switz. all big things, all to be navigated from yet another possible time zone. jim claims i hate change, but that's not it. i just hate deep-rooted change. and i hate, hate hate time zone changes.
e. there is no e. e is that i have to go to work now.

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because andre said i had to

45 ODD things about you! FILL IT OUT and pass it on and also back to the person who sent it to you! Learn 45 things about your friends, and let them learn 45 things about you!

1. Do you like blue cheese salad dressing? Sure. But not as much as I like sesame/carrot/ginger!

 

4. What's your favorite drink at Starbucks or other specialty coffee shop?  cappucino!

 

5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? no.

6. What do you think of hot dogs? I like. guilty, guilty pleasure. of course, i prefer bratwurst a la jim.

7. Favorite Christmas song? i like most renditions of "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," but also, i love "Let There Be Peace on Earth."

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Cappuccino! from the swank new machine jim got me!

 

9. Can you do push-ups? dunno. haven't really tried in forever. i can do *a* pushup.

10. What's your favorite piece of jewelry? haven't one yet.

11. Favorite hobby?  navel-gazing. also known as writing. reading, too.

 

12. Do you have A.D.D.? that's a panty-waisted millenium way of saying that i have no self-control. and yes! 

13. What's one trait that you hate about yourself?  the aforementioned navel gazing.

 

14. Middle name? haven't one.

15. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment.  1. what am i doing for lunch? 2. shit, i have no time left in the day and i'm about to skip my run AGAIN. 3. when i finish this next book i will have to revise, have it critiqued, and start sending out the queries again. shit, shit, shit.

16. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink? crystal light, wine, and...water.

17. Current worry right now? see number 3 above.

18. Current hate right now? People who post derogatory messages on FB. about anything. 

 

19. Favorite place to be? new york. or london.

 

20. How did you ring in the New Year? this is too long ago to remember.

21. Like to travel? yes

 

22. Name three people who will complete this: don't know, don't care.

 

23. Do you own slippers? Yes! many!
 

24. What color shirt are you wearing? black. lived in new york too long. :D

25. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? no. too slippy. 400-count works.

26. Can you whistle? Yes

27. Favorite singer/band? Andre and the Chipmunks.

 

28. Could you ever make it 39 days on the show Survivor? don't know, don't care.

29. What songs do you sing in the shower? i don't, usually.

30. Favorite girl's names? yi shun!

 

31. Favorite boy's name? spartacus maximus sprocketakus.

 

32. What's in your pocket right now? kleenex, because andre made me get a neti pot, and i've been using it.

 

33. Last thing that made you laugh? Tool Time. 

 

34.  Like your job?  quite!

35. Worst injury you've ever had? had my toe broken. don't ask.

36. Do you love where you live?  sure.

37. How many TVs do you have in your house? 1

38. Who is your loudest friend? jen

 

39.  Do you drive the speed limit or speed?  speed, usually.

40. Does someone have a crush on you? jim. his FB spam says so.

41. What is your favorite book? Andre and the DingleHopper.

42. What is your favorite candy? Taiwanese caramels.

 

43. Favorite Sports Team?  don't have one. have many!

44. What were you doing 12 AM last night? having a CSI nightmare.

45. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up today? i get to write with Tabitha today!

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